CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists at Harvard University have finally diagnosed the disease which has turned Ayaan Hirsi-Ali into a vile human being.
Speaking to journalists, lead epidemiologist Dr. Jan Stefansson told journalists: “following extensive tests that took more than 10 years, we have determined that Ayaan Hirsi has a highly contagious disease which affects one’s thinking abilities and is known to cause people to make up lies as they go along”.
Asked whether they have any explanation for Ayaan’s increasing vitriolic statements about Islam, Dr. Stefansson explained that they did: “Ayaan’s brain has shrunk to the point that she can not talk and look nice at the same time. The effect of the shrinking is that it makes one to become a pathological liar with no sense of morality”.
This amazing discovery by the Harvard scientists will go a long way to explain the lies and hate being spewed by Ayaan Hirsi against all Muslims who she blames for causing earthquakes, the American Civil War, the World Wars, the Great Depression, 9/11, the Iraq War, and gravity. According to Ayaan, “Muslims do everything unless it is good”.
Ayaan Hirsi (which is not her real name – she lied about it and nobody knows her real name) was reached for comment on this article. She released this statement: “I have said terrible things about Islam because I am a worthless piece of crap. And also because I hate my mother”.
At press time, Ayaan was seen accusing Muslims of trying to delay the big bang.